Saturday, May 29, 2010

!!my surgery!!

Pain. What is pain?

Can anyone describe pain? No!! Nobody can fully describe it. Sometimes, it can be described. But sometimes it just can’t.

Do you want to know why?

Pain can only be felt by the person who has physically experienced it. Can you imagine the pain of those who suffer from cancer, tumor, or whatever other disease that exists in this world?

This is my story, I have bone tumor.

At first, I never thought I would have bone tumor.

It all started when I was 13 years old. Initially, I was an active person. I was engrossed in sports. I was also very good in traditional dances and was a school dancer.

One day, at my school’s open day, I participated in one of the sports. As I approached the finish line, I fell down and as a consequence, my left ankle was injured. When I reached home, my mother put some medicated oil on it but to no avail, my ankle became more swollen.

I thought it was just a small matter because it was just a fall, after all every normal, typical human being would fall down too right? So I kept participating in sports and other outdoors activities. I just ignored my pain.

Two years came and went. I was 15 years old and my ankle was still in pain, and was much more swollen than before. So, my mother brought me to the general hospital for a medical checkup. The doctor said that my ligament was injured and I had to put on an ankle guide for a year.

Yet, my ankle did not get any better. By that time, the way to reduce my pain was by subscribing to pain killers. I had become depended on pain killers.

The pain killers were just ‘candy’ to me. I have been depending on them for 6 years but it was all in vain as my ankle was still in pain.

So, at last, my parent brought me to a private hospital for another checkup. The doctor asked me to do an MRI to see what the actual problem was. And based on the results, the doctor saw 3 fracture of the talus of my ankle. The doctor put on a cast on my leg for about a month and I had to use crutches to support my body and help ease my movements.

I must admit that I was a bit shy to use the crutches because everybody was staring at me like somehow I was an alien, from another planet (only GOD knows where). But what to do? By hook or by crook I need to do that. After a month, the casing was removed. Unfortunately, my ankle was still swollen and it hurt so much. As usual, pain killers were used to reduce the pain.

So, the doctor decided to refer me to the Nuclear Institute at Kuala Lumpur for a ‘Bone Scan’.

Before the procedure begun, I was injected with a kind of fluid to make my bones glow when scanning was in process.

The doctor then met my mother to explain my condition while I waited for her outside the doctor’s lounge.

After several minutes, my mom came out from the doctor’s office, with a smile on her face (call it a child’s intuition but I knew it was fake). I asked her what did the doctor said. She replied, “Nothing dear, you will be just fine”.

Deep down, I know that she was trying to hide something from me, Something that will make me sad.

Along the journey from Kuala Lumpur to Kuantan, the fake smile never disappeared from her face. She’s pretended to be happy. Well, at last, she cannot hide it from me.

The next day, doctor came to see me at the ward and at that time, that was when I found out I needed to undergo a ‘Biopsy’. The biopsy confirmed that I had ‘Osteoid Osteoma’, a form of bone tumor.

I was very shocked and speechless. It was something I had never expected. Before this, it had been something I saw on television or read about in the newspapers yet now, I was suffering from it.

I knew I needed to be strong.

I will not allow this to break my spirit because I know, my parents, my family and my friends will always stay beside me, I will have their support to fight the cancer.

And maybe, come mid April I will undergo an operation. No words can describe how I am feeling right now.

Doctors will cut off the infected bone and fill the hole either with a bone from my hips or some kind of ‘bone implant’. Frankly speaking, I am worried.

I had suffered from this tumor for 6 years. My parents are willing to do anything for me. I love them so much. I don’t know how to repay their sacrifice. They have spent so much money, time and energy on me.

I really hope this will be the last operation for me and I can be just like before, where I can help my parents again. I really want to be just like my mother, a secretary.

I want to further my studies in office management. I want to prove to my parents that I can make them proud of me.


Here’s a picture I found on the internet that points out the position of the tumor at the talus of the ankle. This is exactly where the tumor is on my own ankle.

Here some information about osteoid osteoma:

Osteoid Osteoma is a benign bone lesion with a nidus of less than 2 cm surrounded by a zone of reactive bone. This lesion accounts for approximately 10 % of benign bone tumors1.The tumor occurs most frequently in the second decade and affects males twice as often as females. The proximal femur is the most common location followed by the tibia, posterior elements of the spine, and the humerus. Osteoid Osteoma is found in the diaphysis or the metaphysis of the proximal end of the bone more often than the distal end.Osteoid osteoma has a distinct clinical picture of dull pain that is worse at night and disappears within 20 to 30 minutes of treatment with non-steroidal anti-inflammatory medication. Joint pain may be present with a periarticular lesion and synovitis can occur secondary to an intraarticular lesion. Local symptoms can include an increase in skin temperature, increased sweating and tenderness. Epiphyseal lesions can cause abnormal growth. The classic radiological presentation of an osteoid osteoma is a radiolucent nidus surrounded by a dramatic reactive sclerosis in the cortex of the bone. The center can range from partially mineralized to osteolytic to entirely calcified. The lesion can occur only in the cortex, in both the cortex and medulla, or only the medulla. The reactive sclerosis may be present or absent. The four diagnostic features include (1) a sharp round or oval lesion that is (2) less than 2 cm in diameter, (3) has a homogeneous dense center and (4) a 1-2 mm peripheral radiolucent zone.’ CT is the preferred method of evaluation, especially if the lesion is in the spine or obscured by reactive sclerosis. The radiologic differential includes osteoblastoma, osteomyelitis, arthritis, stress fracture and enostosis.On gross examination, osteoid osteoma is a brownish-red, mottled and gritty lesion that is distinct from the surrounding bone. It can be present in the cortex or medullary canal. Osteoclasts are present. The nidus is surrounded by sclerotic bone with thickened trabeculae.Microscopically, the nidus consists of a combination of osteoid and woven bone surrounded by osteoblasts. The oval shaped nidus is welvascularized and clearly separate from the reactive woven or lamellar bone. Osteoid osteoma will resolve without treatment in an average of 33 months. If the patient does not wish to endure the pain and prolonged use of non-steroidal anti-inflammatory medications, surgical removal or percutaneous ablation of the nucleus is indicated.

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Kajian Mengenai Bulan dan sikap anda, yang telah dijalankan oleh Yang Berbahagia Dato' Dr. Fadzilah Kamsah.

Fatin lahir pada bulan Disember.

Sifat orang yang lahir pada bulan Disember biasanya:

1: Sangat setia dan pemurah.

2: Bersifat patriotik.

3: Sangat aktif dalam permainan dan pergaulan.

4: Sikap kurang sabar dan tergesa-gesa.

5: Bercita-cita tinggi.

6: Suka menjadi orang yang berpengaruh dalam organisasi.

7: Seronok bila didampingi.

8: Suka bercampur dengan orang.

9: Suka dipuji, diberi perhatian dan dibelai.

10: Sangat jujur, amanah dan bertolak ansur.

11: Tidak pandai berpura-pura.

12: Cepat marah.

13: Perangai yang mudah berubah-ubah.

14: Tidak ego walaupun harga dirinya sangat tinggi.

15: Benci pada kongkongan.

16: Suka berlawak.

Kajian Oleh:Dato Dr Haji Fadzilah Kamsah

Saturday, May 22, 2010

sahabat aku!!


ag sorang kwn baik ak...

dy eyh matured ar gak..klau nak dbandingkan ngan ak...

ak mude sket..hahaha..childish...

well..dy eyh slalu kuar ngan ak..

g mane2 un ngan beruang koala la plak...

hahahaha...she's my best frend...

da name un member an..

msti pnah gado...tipu ar lau x pnh..hehehe

kitorang eyh kire mcm org kuat ar dlm kelab seni & kbudayaan...

mmg aktif gle ar lam bab menari..

dy pengerusi kelab..ak naib pengerusi...

xpe la...adik mengalah yee...


pas ney...masing2 da sambung blaja....

jgn lak memandai nak lupa ak...

ak cepuk ka kang...hahahaha

ak nak minx maaf ar ek lau ak ade terkasar bahase...

termengumpat ka ke...

ade ek tercepuk ka ke...

hehehehe...sorry ea....

akhir kata...persahabatan kite kekal smpai bila2...

hati yg telah kau sakiti

ku menangis membayangkan

betapa kejamnya dirimu atas diriku

kau duakan cinta ini

kau pergi bersamanya

ku menangis melepaskan

kepergian dirimu dari sisi hidupku

harus slalu kau tahu

aku lah hati yang telah kau sakiti

sentiasa terngiang-ngiang lirik lagu hati yg kau sakiti di telinga ak..

sering ak mengharapkan sebuah percintaan yg indah..

tp..ak sering dilukai..dikhianati..dan yg paling ak sedih..diduakan..

kenapa??kenapa perlu ade semua ney..

salah ke kite setia pada yg 1..

the true and only one that we love..

sering kali ak bertanyakan pada hati ak ney..

kenapa seseorang 2 xblh setia pada ak..

pe salah ak pd dy..ade ak curang dgn dy??

ask ma frens la if u dun believe me...

i'll never do that such things...

if my heart said..

i love u..

i was'nt just my mouth said..

but my heart also..

cinta sejati..or else we can say..true love..

cinta sukar diungkapkan dgn kata2...

ia dtg dari 2 hati menjadi 1 disertakan dgn keikhlasan...

cinta kerana harta..akn habis jua..

cinta kerana paras rupa..tua juga akhirnya..

cinta kerana neraka lah kita...


cinta kerana ALLAH..

insyaALLAH..diberkati selamanya...

semua org mendambakan pasangannya sempurna...

ak pown ngaku yg ak pown same..

but we need 2 realise that nobody perfect...

kita semua ciptaan ALLAH..

tp cukuplah dgn sekadar..

seseorang 2 mampu membimbing kita..

sentiasa mengambil berat tntang diri kita...

hormat parent..

and the most important thing...

taat pada perintah ALLAH...

LOve is nOt abOut findinG thE riGht pErsOn..

But crEaTinG a riGht rElatiOnsHip ..

It's nOt abOut hOw muCh lOvE yOu hAve in thE bEgInning..

But hOw mucH lOve yOu buiLd TiLL thE EnD...

Thursday, May 20, 2010

perginya seorang sahabat...

kami da berkawan 9 tahun..sejak dari sekolah rendah hingga la skarang...she is my the most best friend that i ever had...engku puteri noor fara nabilla was her name...fara,pas ney ka da g sambung blaja..sape nak jage ak..sape nak backup ak..sape nak gossip ngan ak...sape nak teman ak o9..sape nak dgr cite ak ag..sape nak tlg ak bab2 cinta ney..fara...ak nak ucapkan terima kasih bnyak2 sbb slame ney ka da bnyak tlg ak..teman ak kat hospital..always ade bile ak ade msalah...always tlg ak time ak sakit dlu..tlg tpup..nothing that i can repay unless a pray 4 u...i will always remember out memories..ka la kwn ak dunia akhirat...ak da janji uh ngan yeop..ak akn always doakan kebahagiaan ka ngan yeop..kebahagiaan ka dunia akhirat...

ka janji ngan ak fara..ka xkan lupakan ak..kite akn jd kwn baik wat slame-lame nyea...ka bkan kwn ak..ka bkan rakan ak..ka sahabat ak..ka egt 2..lau ka susah..cari je ak k..ak akan always matter what...ka blaja elok2..jd nurse yg terbaik taw...last thing i want to say....

you are the best friend that i ever had..thanx for everything...